finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10.
qualifications: no education or experience.
i am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy.
my compensation should be at least equal to my age.
reason for leaving: it had to do with the irs, fbi and sec.
fired because i fought for lower pay.
size of employer: very tall, probably over 65 .
please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date.
reason for leaving: my boss said the end of the world is near.
reason for leaving: the owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. i prefer to elaborate privately.
here are my qualifications for you to overlook.
strengths: ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.
i am a rabid typist.
work history: performed brain wave tests,1879-1981.
after receiving advice from several different angels, i have decided to pursue a new line of work.
as indicted, i have over five years of experience analyzing investments.
suspected to graduate early next year.
disposed of $2.5 billion in assets.
proven ability to track down and correct erors.
accomplishments: oversight of entire department.
am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.
accomplishments: completed 11 years of high school.
note: keep this resume on top of the stack. use all others to heat your house.
assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting. (translation: short-order cook.)
but wait...theres more. you get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature.
i have an excellent track record, although i am not a horse.
my fortune cookie said, your next interview will result in a job-and i like your company in particular.
title: another resume from the profiles in excellence series.
also known as: mr. productivity, mr. clever, mr.fix-it.
trustworthy references available upon request-if i give them a few bucks.
lets meet so you can ooh and ahh over my experience.【转载务必注明：世界经理人学堂-school.icxo.com】